Definition of sustained: Maintained at length without interruption or weakening (from Merriam-Webster.com); strengthen or support physically or mentally; undergo or suffer (something unpleasant, usually injury); uphold, affirm, or confirm the justice or validity of.

 

He was, is, and is to come for all time (Revelation 1:8). He is the maker of all things and foundation of consistency in love, strength, and courage. He is the sustainer of a purposeful life with attainable fulfillment. Jesus suffered and sustained the weight of sin so I could have a chance at this life.

 

Sustained, to me, along with these definitions, also means contentment. All through my early twenties of quite honestly utter chaos of comparison, bitterness, resentfulness, and entitlement, along with family problems, I was never content. I was always chasing a dream and too busy to realize what God had given me. So, I stayed there in that state of mind and in those circumstances.

 

Joyce Meyer said something that I wish I knew at that time: “Complain and remain. Praise and be raised.”

 

It was kind of like a Marie Kondo moment one day when God showed me how I should be grateful for these moments right in front of me: my children's and husband’s health, our jobs, family, a nice home, vehicles, running water, etc. To be honest, I never saw the family I had growing up be torn apart. I remember complaining about going to dinners, and now I wish I would have enjoyed the “quirks” of my family more. So, I turn to my own family whom my husband and I have given everything but our souls to raising. I decided to be grateful for where I’ve been and what I have had.

I decided “fake it ‘til I make it” wasn’t what I was doing because I did have faith in the Lord, regardless of how many times I felt I needed to convince myself. However, I was headed into an uncomfortably new area in my life. (If you aren’t uncomfortable, you aren’t growing.) So, I decided I would “faith it ‘til I make it.” I figured my mustard-size “faith it until you make it” plan had to work. I was finally putting all my metaphorical eggs [family, jobs, finances…] into my metaphorical basket [God], and He showed up and showed out. 

 

I was at my lowest, broken in every aspect and area in my life. This time was temporary but felt to drag on in the most agonizing ways of sheer pain and disappointment—one after another, each more crippling than the last. Yet, He sustained me in His goodness. He sustained me in His promises. He sustained me in my marriage, in my finances. I trusted Him little by little and He blessed me tenfold. He sustained my burdened and heavy heart. So, when I say He blessed me tenfold—He lifted my burdens every day. He calmed my spirit. He provided and protected my family. The world finds reasons not to love me and even convinces me to not love myself; meanwhile, He loves me, and I can never change that.

 

Mia Renee of God Centered Success Podcast said this: “God is good. God is good to me. I trust God to be God.” When I didn’t know what to pray, that’s all I could say over and over, and I did and still do believe it. Every single day. 

 

I am currently living in the sustainment of His fulfilled promises, His sustainment of joy, His sustainment of peace. All of this is more than enough. God has sustained me most by these humbling experiences and life lessons.

 

I will always be a target of the devil because God loves me. The enemy can bring seasons of utter chaos, but my God will sustain me. He’s more than enough.