Waiting for Marriage | Lifesigns Magazine

It will soon be 60 years ago for us—my husband Doug and I—but the impact of our wait for a wedding ceremony still brings back many memories of courtship and preparations for marriage. God knows how to bring couples together for a lasting match and for completion of His plan and purposes.

Here we go! I was working as an EKG technician at Southern Baptist Hospital in New Orleans where both my mother and sister served as nurses. Doug’s sister, Audrey, worked as a technologist and head of the Serology Lab there as well. At the time, Doug also worked in the medical field as a technician installing and repairing X-Ray machines. His job included calls to many different hospitals, including Crosby Hospital in Picayune.

Now, for the back story: After work at the hospital one day, Audrey entered the same elevator I was taking. We knew each other from our local church and began a conversation. Audrey, being a concerned sister, began telling me how her brother was heartbroken, the love of his life having broken up with him to return to a former boyfriend. That’s where I came in! On the rebound! Soon, she convinced me to accept a date and offered to drive me to her parents’ home where her brother lived. Since I would have to wait for a bus to take me home, I accepted her offer.

Before long, we were stopped in the driveway of her parents’ home on Felicity Street. She left me in the car to check if he was home and could come out to meet me. I sat and waited, wondering what was taking so long. After a while, she reappeared and informed me that he was busy taking a shower and unable to come out to the car. “However,” she said, “he will be glad to pick you up for a date tonight if you’re willing.” I was, but I wasn’t so sure if my dad would like the idea.

That night, Doug came to the door promptly and rang the bell. Dad met him but did not open the door very far. I had warned Dad that a date would be coming, but Dad was not exactly happy about my date not being from our church! I informed him that my date was Audrey’s brother (“You know, she plays the violin at church.”) and her brother is probably a Christian. “He’s a Presbyterian Deacon!” (I knew better than to assume anything about one’s walk with God, but I tried to make him sound acceptable.) Since Doug was not prepared for Dad’s reluctance, he simply pushed the door open a bit more and walked right in! Dad and Doug sat on the sofa while Dad proceeded to talk to Doug about the Lord.

Nelly, my sister, soon came rushing back to where I was putting the finishing touches on my hair to announce, “Grace! You need to come out now. Dad is giving him a Sunday school lesson!” I didn’t rush. I wanted to look my best. Anyway, he would have to pass the “Dad” test to be in my life anyway.

As I completed my look and pulled my skirt down to past my knees, I walked through the kitchen and then my parents’ bedroom to the living room in our shotgun apartment to meet my future husband. He stood up, and I immediately fell in love! He was mature. He had confidence. No pimply-faced teen here! I was twenty going on twenty-one, but I knew he was much older. It didn’t really matter. He was a man! He, on the other hand, still claims that I didn’t merely walk toward him, but I floated through the rooms and shook his hand.

Once we were in the car, I kept looking at his high school ring, trying to decipher the date. Wait! His ring read “1953”. What?! Oh, but it was too late. I was comfortable with him, and I would enjoy the date. We drove to a pizza place to meet Audrey, her husband Jewel, and their two children, Alice and Johnny. That part of the plans made me feel especially at ease—not a two-couple double date, but a family time. When I saw how the children were allowed to play the jukebox over and over again, selecting the same secular song, “Shake!”, I was a bit surprised at how lenient their parents were. In my family, we didn’t listen to anything but Christian or classical music. Well, the conversation was good. Doug and I mainly sat eating our pizza and listening to the older couple talk and tell jokes. Soon it was time to leave.

Doug kissed my hand at the door, which further enthralled me. I felt good about him. I had kept myself for my husband to be presented, and here he was. I felt sure about it now. He would not rush me into behavior I knew should await marriage. Waiting was just beginning.

I invited him to church on Sunday. To everyone’s surprise, he came. He had fallen for me and would do what it took to stay in my good graces. I knew he would have to pass a few tests spiritually before I could consider him as a mate.

Within a few months, he had passed test number 1! He responded to the altar call and fell on his knees in repentance, accepting Christ. He followed that step of faith with water baptism and then prayed for the Holy Spirit to fill him completely with evidence of speaking in tongues. I was elated. Our dates became more passionate, but now we could consider marrying.

It was February of 1965. Doug drove me to the small playground in my parents’ Metairie neighborhood, parked, and pulled out a blue velvet box, handing it to me. I opened the box, and inside was a gold ring bearing a substantial diamond staring me in the face. My answer was YES! We drove to the hospital where Mom worked on the fifth floor to show her. Not ready to show Dad just yet, I walked up the steps to our house and went to find my sister. I felt confident she would know if this was right since she was older.

I began to plan our wedding with all diligence. I wanted it to be right! I called my pastor, and he said he would have to check his busy schedule, congratulating me on our upcoming marriage. He would call me the next day to say he only had one Friday night open, the 29th of October. I said I would take it even though I knew it was sort of close to Halloween. We didn’t want to wait any longer than three months, and it was already August. We would wait! I wanted a candlelight wedding and could not give up on this dream from childhood.

We waited. Finally, October 29, 1965, arrived. We married and are still married, approaching 60 years. Waiting is tough but is always worth it.