A Secret Burden | Lifesigns Magazine

It is extraordinary how a single event can imprint specifics like location, date, and time into your mind—Hollywood Casino, January 5, 2013, at 11:00pm. That evening changed my life, burdening me with hurt, anger, resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness for almost ten years.

After my stage performance, I went to greet a relative who, unexpectedly, had news to share. Before speaking, she made me promise to keep it from my dad, stepmom, and siblings since they did not know. She simply said, "You have another sister." Naturally, I responded, "What?!" She explained how she discovered this, but I told her I was not sure how to react and needed to leave.

On the drive home, I sat in silence, wrestling with thoughts and questions: How could my dad be unaware? Why was this secret kept for more than thirty years? They lied about who my real mom was… so why wouldn’t they lie about this?

The following day, I began searching Facebook and other avenues on the internet for anyone with the name my relative gave, though there were two possible last names. Many nights, I laid awake wondering whether I would ever find or meet my sister, my anger intensifying as I felt betrayed by those meant to protect me. Bound by my promise, I shouldered the secret burden alone. Although I knew my parents might not truly know, I grew resentful, choosing to believe there was no way they were oblivious. Eventually, after years of fruitless searching, I gave up; it seemed hopeless as finding a needle in a haystack.

In 2016, while at work, a coworker informed me that someone was there to see me, mentioning one of my parents plus the name I’d given up on. I immediately rolled my eyes and sighed. Full of disdain, I muttered, "Whatever!" I put on a façade of being fine but internally battled unforgiveness as I met them, desperately wanting to lash out. Before leaving, they hugged me and said, "I love you." I replied, "I love you too," but I knew those words were hollow of meaning. I remember thinking that I did not care if I ever saw them again.

At this point in my life, I had already walked away from the Lord, so I developed the victim’s mindset and leaned on my own understanding, turning to the carnal instead of walking in the Spirit.

That all changed though at the end of 2019 when I had a profound encounter with the Lord.

In January of 2020, the Lord spoke to me on my way to work one morning and said, “Stand in the gap for your family.” I just said, “Yes, Lord.” I did not hesitate or become angry and ask why. It was then that I realized I had released the hurt and unforgiveness. My heart posture had changed, and everything began to shift in my family as I pressed into the Lord.

In the summer of 2022, my parents, siblings, and I were reconciled.

Two years after reconciliation, my husband asked me if I was ever going to tell them that I knew about my other sister. I replied, “No, because the Lord told me my dad was going to tell me, and then I can explain how I came to know.”

A few months after that conversation, my dad FaceTime called me, and he told me that I had another sister. I just answered, “I know.” He was surprised. “When did you find out?” I explained how his sister told me after a gig in January 2013, and I gave her my word to keep it to myself. I then asked him, “How did all this come to the surface?”

It turned out that my long-lost sister did a 23 and Me DNA Kit. The results revealed she shared DNA with a relative in Louisiana. She reached out to the relative, who in turn called my dad’s sister, who called him.

The challenging time I walked through years prior to this was preparation. The Lord used that season in my life to prepare me to be there for my dad as he began struggling with letting go and forgiving himself of past sins. During his struggles, I would remind him that he was a new creation and that all his sins were washed away the moment he surrendered to Jesus. I would shift focus to what God did by saying things like: God gave you another daughter; He gave me another sister; God allowed us to spend time with her, and God made her a part of this family.

This is not the end of the story. It’s just another chapter, and the Lord is still at work, continuing to write what comes next. Even though we cannot always see it, God is moving and He is working.