This past year was a year to embrace community, to be intentional about growing relationships and building a Christian family around myself. God has been speaking specific words to me which have led me to plant seeds and see them grow. He said to lead with love and I will have freedom. There is great joy in following Jesus.

 

My world collapsed in on itself a few Easters ago. My family separated and we all ended up living apart. My heart was ripped out of my chest. There I was, completely naked before the world, all my faults and mistakes put out there for anyone to see. I’m generally a very private person, so this was extremely uncomfortable for me. I had fallen flat on my face before God. I had a choice: to keep running old events through my mind and be miserable, or I could allow Jesus to heal me. The pain of losing my husband and seeing my children have to get their own places to live was too much. I started drinking again. I found that I was getting drunk to try to forget for a while. After a few months of trying to destroy myself, I realized that this was not me. I didn’t want this. I knew the pain would not go away and my life wouldn’t be a good example to my children.

 

God drew me back into Him when I submitted myself to Him. I thought the emotional pain I was experiencing was never going to stop. It took my breath away at times and stopped me in my tracks. The tears just flowed down my cheeks (at times, they still do). So, I crawled to the altar and learned to give it all to God and to fully trust Him to mend my wounds. I choose the narrow path with God.

 

As a 3rd grader, I had read “The Pilgrim’s Progress.” The book stuck with me all these years. I knew that I was meant for that narrow path, yet I still try to live in the world. Oh boy! That Easter, when everything fell apart, I knew I had to choose the path set before me by Christ. My new journey was wrought with huge mountains and very low valleys.

 

This past year was a year to embrace community, to be intentional about growing relationships and building a Christian family around myself. God has been speaking specific words to me which have led me to plant seeds and see them grow. He said to lead with love and I will have freedom. There is great joy in following Jesus.

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My mind processes verbal information differently than most people. The stimuli turn into pictures that flip through my mind while being attached to intense feelings. When someone speaks, this can lead to an immense overload of information and sensations that can cause me to react differently than another person. It can be exhausting at times to process things with others. This can lead to me needing time to myself with low stimulation or silence for short or sometimes ongoing timeframes. If I am very emotionally attached to someone who I feel really connected to, it can take my ability to speak or even make me uncomfortable to see or touch another person until my brain can process the information.

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Building my new community took real effort to stay consistent. Lots of days I didn’t feel like attending life groups, but I had made a commitment and was going to go. I was determined to deeply plant myself in a group of women and grow those relationships. I needed the love and encouragement they wanted to give to me. They accepted me, and I allowed them to love on me. (My goodness, what a change in my life!) I went from being in solitude to fluttering around, talking my head off to my new Sisters. My smile came back. My confidence soared. These women not only embraced me, but they also showed me that I could trust again and allow myself to get lost in the great big heart I have for people. My pain was not in vain. It was a process to get closer to our Heavenly Father. Joy started breaking through and I found myself happy for the first time in years.

 

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As I think of the new year, I’m excited for the new plan God has given me. He wants me to rebuild my life. I have the freedom God promised me. It’s time for me to focus on writing again. I want to be obedient in this God-given gift. Today, marks the day I am being obedient within this calling. My family may look different than it used to, but God sure has blessed me with children and grandchildren that love me.

 

I encourage everyone to be repentant and embrace God. Allow yourself to change and follow His plan for your life. Step out into the discomfort and allow yourself God’s grace to move forward. 2026 is a whole new year. What are you going to do to have a better life? Let’s do it together!